


If you're ready, like I'm ready

by MementoVivere



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eloping, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Gift Fic, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 11:37:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11012652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MementoVivere/pseuds/MementoVivere
Summary: “Hey,” Shigeru says all of a sudden, still hovering in the doorway like he’s forgotten how to walk. “Let’s get married.”Kentarou snorts. “Sure. I’ll add it to the to-do list.”“I mean it,” says Shigeru, andoh fuck is he serious,Kentarou was expecting him to say something like “you’ve never made a to-do list in your life, asshole,” and then Ken would act offended and Shigeru would hit him over the head with his newspaper like a dog (not that either of them would ever, ever do that to Aki-chan)  and they would make out for a while. Instead, Shigeru is just standing there, babbling on in a way that hints at barely-controlled panic. “I mean, we’re already basically married anyway, we live together and split up housework and argue about who has to cook and we even got a dog, that’s—fuck, Ken, stop laughing, I’m fucking serious!”Or, Kyoutani and Yahaba get married and Watari suffers.





	If you're ready, like I'm ready

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oikawas_Aliens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oikawas_Aliens/gifts).



> This fanfic is a birthday present for my wonderful little sister, who I love dearly and would probably die without. Happy birthday, my lovely. I'm sorry I dropped nine F-bombs in your birthday fic, but you're seventeen now, you can deal.
> 
> Also, I'm as American as a gun cabinet or a deep-fried Twinkie and I only spent about an hour researching marriage laws in Japan, so I've probably written something inaccurate here and I apologize in advance. I do know that same-sex marriage isn't legal there yet, but let's just pretend that it is by the time this happens, okay?

It’s a Saturday afternoon towards the end of May, and Kentarou has just successfully convinced the dog to stop chewing on the remote control in exchange for a squeaky hedgehog toy that he’ll probably regret giving to her in about twenty minutes when she’s squeaked it approximately seventeen million times. His boyfriend watches them, leaning against the doorframe with the kind of smile that means he’s having sappy thoughts he’d sooner die than say for Kentarou to hear. It’s a pretty smile, and Ken likes seeing it, but he’d die before he said _that_ out loud, so they’re at a bit of a stalemate there.

“Hey,” Shigeru says all of a sudden, still hovering in the doorway like he’s forgotten how to walk. “Let’s get married.”

Kentarou snorts. “Sure. I’ll add it to the to-do list.”

“I mean it,” says Shigeru, and _oh fuck is he serious,_ Kentarou was expecting him to say something like “you’ve never made a to-do list in your life, asshole,” and then Ken would act offended and Shigeru would hit him over the head with his newspaper like a dog (not that either of them would ever, ever do that to Aki-chan) and they would make out for a while. Instead, Shigeru is just standing there, babbling on in a way that hints at barely-controlled panic. “I mean, we’re already basically married anyway, we live together and split up housework and argue about who has to cook and we even got a _dog_ , that’s—fuck, Ken, stop laughing, I’m fucking serious!”

He can’t, not that he really tries. This cannot be happening. It has to be some kind of high school hangover.

“This is about Oikawa-san, isn’t it?” he asks. He's fairly certain that his _actual_ little brother doesn’t have anywhere near the kind of little-brother complex that Shigeru has towards Oikawa Tooru. Whatever Oikawa does, Shigeru has to do better—even now, almost a decade after they’ve graduated—and for the past three weeks their refrigerator has been announcing on taupe-and-bronze cardstock that the pleasure of their company is requested at the wedding of Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime. No need to send money, RSVP to the pompous wedding-planning service Oikawa spent too much money on by whatever date is decidedly _later_ than necessitates sending out invitations before Golden Week is even over and leaving plenty of time in between for little-brother-like kouhai to come up with shit like _this._

“I mean, have you _met_ the guy?” Kentarou continues. “’Cause I guarantee whatever you’re thinking you can pull off won’t _touch_ his levels of ridiculousness—”

“I’m _not_ ,” says Shigeru, petulance creeping into his voice. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“You might have mentioned it once or twice in the past ten years.”

Aki-chan gives the hedgehog toy an extra-loud squeak, as if to back him up. Shigeru rolls his eyes. “I can’t even _propose_ to you without unnecessary sarcasm.”

This is really happening, Kentarou thinks. Yahaba Shigeru is asking to marry him, as casually as if he were asking him to pick up more rice on the way home from work. There’s no big to-do, no cheesy speech, nothing he would expect from the shallow guy who spends half an hour blow-drying his hair in the morning while Ken waits impatiently. Just the two of them, standing in their living room, in the apartment they’ve been sharing for almost two years, doing domestic shit like grocery-shopping and taking Aki-chan to the dog park and arguing over whether _it’s a waste of time to spend forty-five minutes polishing the goddamn coffeemaker that no one even uses but us, seriously_.

All of this passes through Kentarou’s mind in a matter of seconds, immediately followed by _damn it, he’s right, we’re basically married already_.

“What did you have in mind?” he finally says, leaning back. This, he thinks, could take a while.

As it turns out, it does not.

“I’m not asking for a three-ring circus or anything,” Shigeru says, seeming more nervous now that he actually has a chance. “I just—Shinji knows a guy at the town hall, if we leave now we can probably get our papers in time to go sign a register, we could be back here in time to give Aki her dinner, just—just like normal—”

“Except married,” Kentarou finished. He has to admit, he likes the sound of that a lot better than having to change clothes thirty times in an afternoon and stand politely while a million people he doesn’t particularly like get drunk and judge him for anything they can think of.

“Yeah,” says Shigeru, whose face is starting to look grey. “Do you—I mean, would—”

Kentarou grins. “I actually really fucking do.”

 

— — —

 

Watari reacts about as well as they thought he would.

“What the fuck?!” he yells, loudly enough that Shigeru has to hold the phone away from his ear and Kentarou swerves on the road. “Are you insane?”

“Yes,” says Shigeru. “Just call your friend and get your ass to the town hall, we need you to sign as a witness.” Being the kind soul that he is, he puts his phone on speaker so that Kentarou can hear Watari’s shocked sputtering from the driver’s seat.

“I think you broke him,” Ken says.

“You can’t just—what is _wrong_ with you two, why would you do this, I don’t—this is irresponsible as fuck—”

“You’ll be there?” Shigeru asks.

“Immediately,” says Watari.

 — — —

 

When they get to the town hall, Watari’s friend—some guy they’ve never met who needs a haircut—is waiting for them in the lobby and says that they’re insane ( _“See?”_ groans Watari) but that he’ll take them to some guy he’s pestered into streamlining them.

Shigeru reaches for Kentarou’s hand as they follow Watari’s friend to the elevators. “I told you it pays to have connections,” he says casually, but Ken can feel his hand shaking.

“Cold feet?” he asks, half-joking, as the elevator doors close.

“Hell no,” says Shigeru, and smiles widely enough that even though he’s clearly terrified, Kentarou can’t help but believe him.

They’re married with no ceremony, no wedding kiss, no rings, no vows, no drama. Shigeru wears a sweatshirt with a cactus on it and Ken has a worn spot in his jeans from spilling his hair bleach on them.

Before they sign the registration form, the town hall employee Watari’s friend coerced into this asks them both about ten times if they understand what they’re doing, and Watari asks them about fifty times if they’re sure they don’t want to wait, and Watari’s friend asks Watari about a hundred times what’s wrong with them. The first pen that the town hall employee gives them is out of ink; Watari tosses Kentarou a new one and hits him in the eye.

Shigeru and Kentarou sign the documents together, looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes and trying their hardest not to break into nervous laughter. Shigeru looks like he’s about to pass out from the effort, and judging by the look he’s giving Kentarou, Ken probably does too.

It’s all kind of awesome.

He sets the pen down gently, almost reverently, with a care he’s never used for anything that wasn’t a puppy before, as it hits him that he’s doing this as a married person. He picked up the pen as a single guy and he’s putting it down as a married guy. Everything he does now, he’s going to do as someone’s _husband_. When he walks out the door, he’s going to walk out the door as someone’s husband. When he drives home, he’s going to drive home as someone’s husband. When he gets home and feeds Aki-chan, he’s going to feed his dog as someone’s husband. The realization makes him hyperaware of everything around him.

(It’s sort of like the moment when he was nine years old and realized what his existence meant in regards to his parents’ relationship. The whole world changed in a matter of seconds. He knew that everything he did from that moment on would be affected by this new knowledge. Nothing would ever be the same again.

The difference, of course, is that this isn’t horribly emotionally scarring.)

“I’m fucking _married_ ,” he whispers to himself.

“Yeah,” says Shigeru. “You are.”

There’s no ceremony, so there’s no need for a wedding kiss. This doesn’t, however, stop Shigeru from shoving Ken against the elevator wall afterwards, the way he did in high school, and making out with him as soon as the doors close.

Watari makes a horrified sound. Kentarou ignores him and slides his hand under Shigeru’s shirt. This is clearly too much for Watari’s proper, rule-following heart to take, as he practically throws his entire body against the STOP ELEVATOR button.

“That’s it,” he says, with the demeanor of a man longing for death. “I’m abandoning you on whatever floor we’re the closest to if you can’t act like adults for long enough to get out of a _government building._ ”

“No, no, we’ll be good,” Shigeru promises, and Watari looks at them in a way that says he doesn’t believe them for a second.

 

 — — —

 

“We just got _married,_ ” Shigeru says on the way home, sounding like he can’t believe it, his hand on Kentarou’s knee as if he’s making sure he won’t jump out of the car.

“I know,” says Ken. “You’re my fucking husband, how about that?”

“Well, you’re not a cute girl who makes me bentos,” says Shigeru, grinning like the little shit he is, “but you’ll do.”

“I will shove you out the window right here, right now,” Kentarou growls, and Shigeru leans over and kisses his jaw.

“I’m really fucking glad I married you,” he says.

“Yeah. So am I.”

 — — —

 

It’s a Saturday night towards the end of May, and Kentarou has just successfully convinced the dog off of the bed in exchange for a hot dog that he’ll probably regret giving to her in the morning when she’s eaten half of it and hidden the other half under the couch cushions for later.

His husband watches them, leaning against the bed with the kind of smile that means he’s having immoral thoughts that will lead to the neighbors banging on the walls when they get too loud.

It’s a pretty smile, and Ken likes seeing it, but he just might die if he doesn’t get Shigeru into bed with him soon, so they’re at a bit of a stalemate there.

**Author's Note:**

> they do get wedding rings later and they have them made out of tungsten carbide so that they can punch people with them  
> the couple that breaks faces together stays together


End file.
